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In our adult humor (“humour” for the British) section, you’ll find funny, sexy, saucy stories, meant to raise a smile.

To merge the libidinous with the laughable is perhaps the most difficult style of erotica to write, yet many lush stories writers rise to the challenge.


Freedom... Question Mark

I've dreamed of this moment. Maybe now is my time.

It's bumpy in here again. Fourth time today I'm being tossed around, bashing into Josh and Alfie and that new guy with the extra long tail. Ben, I think he's called. He's a strong swimmer. Gonna have to watch him; learn from him. I try to focus, throbbing headache, tumbling until I don't know which way I'm facing, crashing into the sides of the pink sphere. I try to latch onto its...Read On


Hipster Flu Epidemic Rocks Seattle

A couple explore Epidemic ravaged Seattle

First, a shout out to Audrey X for correctly Googling, I mean answering the previous obscure movie reference "A Clockwork Orange." She even said it was "easy." "Vanity thy name is woman." The alluring Audrey will receive her bonus points plus five White Castle coupons honoring the return of GOT. And now...The Adventure Continues I'm Emma Gravel. You might know me from such Lush stories as,...Read On


Natasha's Pon Farr

Natasha felt the stirrings of her once a week "crazy slut attack" coming on.

They were having beers at the Rio Bravo when Natasha felt the first stirrings of her weekly crazy slut attack coming on. “You gotta get me outta here, John.” John took one look at her, the way she glanced around the bar, eyeing all the men, her eyes always at crotch level as she felt herself. He could see the feral, piercing stare as her pupils began dilating, and she started to pant. “Get...Read On


Young Couples Were Swapping Spouses and Didn't Know It

Husband is fucking his friend's lactating wife and learned later his friend returned the favor.

Something very ironic, and I think humorous happened between two, young, married couples, and the husband and wife of the first-person couple will give their arousing accounts of what happened. Jason’s Story My name is Jason, and I met, Kim, and woman who would become my wife, in our senior year in college. Her bubbly, flirty personality perfectly complements her beauty, and I thought I...Read On


Put On Your Easter Bonnet... And Nothing Else

Emma takes her new love home for Easter.

I'm no stranger to romance, but we aren't on a first name basis either. Which is why I'm excited about taking my new girlfriend to my family's Easter dinner. I don't think they've ever totally accepted my gayness since my sister still addresses my Christmas card to "Pervert" Gravel. Where are my manners? I'm Emma GraveI. I own a revival movie house in San Francisco. I try to play themed...Read On

Comp Entry

Case of the Hand in the Cookie Jar

Solving a case of stolen cash in a seedy club

Notorious?  The only thing I know about "Notorious" is the Hitchcock movie,  but I was about to find out much more. Remember me? I'm Penelope Spade,  a novice Private Eye in Cincinnati,  Ohio.  The business started slow but since cracking the Col. Mustard murder case, where he met a gruesome demise by a candlestick in the conservatory, my fame has spread like a Kardashian's legs on first...Read On


The Purloined Pussy

A Game of "Escape the Room" turns tragic

I'm  Piper Cinnabon, (name changed to protect the innocent). It was a cold and dreary morning walking the cold and dreary New York streets with my girlfriend, Cynthia, a bewitching, African-American woman with the complexion of hot chocolate (she was equally as soothing and warming on cold mornings, I might add). I had already treated her to a delicious Egg McMuffin breakfast (without...Read On


The Case Of The Slippery Slipper

A NYC business trip leads to romance and mystery.

Being a novice Private Investigator has its perks, such as attending my first Private Eye Symposium and Talent Show in New York City (where I won't be buying salsa, by the way). I left my new girlfriend, Katrina, at home because she has a phobia about fun. I had already memorized my highly anticipated Power Point presentation of "How to find fingerprints inside a vagina using duct tape,...Read On


The Ghost And Ms. Chicken

A romantic retreat is ruined by a haunted campground.

I'm Penelope Spade, budding Private Eye. Beside me, in my blue Mini Cooper as we cruise up Highway 71, sits Katrina, my tall, blonde lover, her shorts accentuating her long, sensual gams. I met her on my first caper, six months ago. But time is taking its toll. Nothing I can put my finger on (or in), but we talk less and sex is now as infrequent as a good Star Wars movie. (I warn you before...Read On


The Missing Person Caper

My first case as a private investigator

Growing up a lesbian and very introspective about my career possibilities, I knew I didn't want to teach gym, because that was a stereotype that would eventually lead to shame and/or incarceration.  Then one night I had an epiphany while watching "The Maltese Falcon"...I would be a private eye, a shamus in forties vernacular. Fresh out of THE Ohio State, armed with a worthless degree, I...Read On


Winter is Cumming The Conclusion

A day in bed with my new girlfriend, exploring lust and a sad tale of my past

The day was gloomy and rainy, in other words, the perfect day to stay in bed and that was my sole plan for Winter and me.  To lie together and get better acquainted. Looking into her dark eyes as we snuggled beneath heavy blankets, I asked, "What do you want to know about me?" She mulled it over and finally responded with "Tell me about your last girlfriend.  Like how long it lasted, why...Read On



The newlyweds arrive at their hotel...

The wedding had gone off without a hitch. Seamus and Colleen were now married and embarking on the rest of their lives. The church had been decorated out with beautiful flowers, the colour of her choice. Burgundy red roses mixed with cream coloured chrysanthemums. The service flowed and even the congregation had joined in with her chosen hymns. Better yet, the sun joined in and shone down...Read On


Winter is Cumming part 2

I take my new gf on a day of shopping, burgers and aging hair bands

As the bright, invasive afternoon sunlight came streaming through my stained (with dust and dirt) glass window, I found myself spooning (and possibly forking) with my new dream girl, Winter Summer, whom I had met earlier at the Public Market. Rubbing my aching jaw from our earlier sexcapades, fearing I might have lockjaw then grinning like an escaped lunatic as I recalled her hairy...Read On


I Married A Witch

The best day of my life was when I found out my wife was a witch.

My wife is a witch. Not a nasty woman that you’d refer to as a witch. I mean she is a real, card-carrying, bonified witch. I didn’t know she was a witch when we got married, but I found out soon enough. Witches seem to have a bad rap for some reason. I’m here to tell you that my witch is the most incredible woman I have ever met. In fact, I am by far the luckiest man on the planet. I don’t...Read On


Winter is Cumming

A random lesbian, messy encounter in Vancouver

The day began like all others, climbing out of bed at the crack of noon, devouring a Toaster Strudel and mayonnaise sandwich before braving the crisp Canadian weather by going to Vancouver's Public Market for fresh seafood now that I'm eating healthy.  Along the way I passed a group of American hipsters vaping cannabis oil on a street corner, celebrating Tommy Chong's birthday.  Damn...Read On


What's Love Got To Do With It?

Love's like a double-headed jelly dildo; it’s intriguing, but can screw you a few different ways…

This isn’t some fluff-driven, pie-in-the-sky bullshit narrative about love or finding your soul mate. Nor is this taradiddle about some dreamed electric moment – that instance where someone says that they just fucking knew. The Moment . Give me a bloody break. There’s no such thing. This tale's about how this love shit really works. Hint. It’s not about love; it’s about sex. Don’t kid...Read On


Quarter Of An Hour

Light flash fiction about a bigot and an aphrodisiac

The reporter looked away from me, glancing at her notes in right hand. “Afternoon,” I called, seating myself and adjusting the chair in front of the television cameras. She nodded at me, turned to the first camera and delivered a short introduction about our interview. “So Mr Rawley, please can you take us back to the morning of the fifteenth?” “Sure.” I adjusted my check shirt in the...Read On


Her Name Was Snowy

How a hatred of Christmas can change lives.

I guess you could say I come from a broken home. To say my family was not typical of American values would be the understatement of the year. We have no values. Most of us are either in prison or just haven't been caught yet. Because I come from a very large family, that's a lot of people who shouldn't be amongst the rest of society. Disfunction was the name of the game. There was no one...Read On


Dental Unload

Matt attends a very unusual dental surgery.

Matt took a strange call from his dentist in the early hours of the morning, at eight o’clock precisely, asking to rearrange an appointment. After some discussion, it became apparent that Sharon, the oral hygienist, couldn’t make the time of day that he had originally booked and his dentist, a Dr. Angela Price, had insisted that Sharon and Jenny were the only assistants that she would work...Read On


Perfect 10

Screaming fans and an enormous cock...

It was the size of her arm. The head bigger than her fist. It was an immense cock and she must have it inside her. The man lay on his back in the center of the gymnastics mat. His identity didn't matter. Maybe she recognized him, maybe she didn't. All that mattered was the mountain of meat between his legs. She knelt close to it, salivating. She wrapped both hands around the thing. Or at...Read On

Recommended Read

Al's Add-In 2: One Thousand and One Orgasms

Because the site clearly needs more buxom purple genie stories

I noticed her as soon as we entered the party. A stunning, curve-hugging purple dress, straight jet-black hair, pierced nose and eyebrow, and a smile of recognition when she saw my boyfriend, Al. So I was a little surprised when he steered me away from her. Actually, really surprised, since he’s seldom assertive, and because that took him straight into the very large embrace of the...Read On


A Canadian Thanksgiving tale

More than just the turkey gets stuffed on an October holiday

It was cool, crisp October day. The sky was a light blue with only a few wisps of white clouds fluttering about. The leaves, turning gold, yellow and red, put on a display as we travelled the highway to my parent's house. It took longer than normal to make the thirty minute drive from the city, not due to traffic, but due to my piece-of-shit truck shaking at anything near 100km/hr. That is...Read On


Mary Smith, Escort Extraordinaire

I’m always myself and sometimes what you want me to be.

I am an honest-to-goodness, flesh-and-blood, mostly friendly, often frisky, black adult American female person woman human.  I am that no matter what I choose to do and no matter what someone else chooses to do with me.  I am also a proud, ethical, and unabashed sex worker. My client rules of engagement are as follows. No piss, race, poop, rape, incest, slave, cop/prisoner or...Read On


A windfall for St Trinian's

Would this be the most audacious heist of the century?

Our precocious and hugely talented Russian twins Nikka and Nina were about to start their second term in St Trinian's A-Grade Sixth form. In the Staff Room, few of us doubted that they were destined for great futures. I could see Nikka comfortably handling the job of UN Secretary General, whilst quieter Nina was probably going to be a merchant banker in the City of London, retiring to...Read On


Escape From St Trinian's

Where Depravity replaces Decorum on the curriculum

"How much further?" my daughter Felicity asked. I glanced at the diagonal yellow line which ran across the sat-nav's screen. "Nearly there, darling." 'In three hundred yards you will have reached your destination,' announced the electronic voice on cue. And there, at the far end of a menacing avenue of dead elm trees, stood a gaunt stone gateway, with the brooding Victorian profile of...Read On


Midnight in Montreal

All hail the queen of Handjobs!

For the life of me, I couldn’t read French. As we passed the street signs, they looked familiar. Stop signs were still red octagons even if they said, “Arret” {Stop}. At the time I was a bit tipsy and wasn’t sure why we decided to go to Montreal to get more booze in the middle of the night, but as it was my first journey outside of the country, I was determined to make it memorable. The...Read On


Working From Home

A helping hand and a lick while learning how she works.

Claire sat at her large maple desk on her roller chair with arms ready for another day of “work”. She would spend a couple of hours on mm live finding some new blood for her significant business. She glanced down and saw the man crossed legged and naked under her desk, waiting for her when she would tell him he could. He was the latest who had come calling, and she was rather fond of...Read On

Recommended Read

A Dog’s Life

They’re at it again. They always are!

They’re at it again; fucking on the sofa. Not an inch of dignity between them.  Panting and grunting and making all sorts of disgusting noises like it was their last day on Earth; his buttocks clenching hard as he thrusts forward. Sweat is pouring off his brow – Christ knows where it’s ending up, somewhere on top of her I would have thought. And now they’re going to change positions, like...Read On

Editor's Pick

The Other Other Toy Story

When in trouble, call the customer service hotline.

“Thank you for calling the Honeysuckle Ltd telephone information service! This hotline provides information and assistance to all of Honeysuckle Ltd’s business and franchise partners, authorized sellers and customers. Honeysuckle Ltd. specializes in...” “Yeah. Yeah, interesting. Please. Come on, hurry up.” “...mer services. Please hold.” “Ha. I am holding. Holy shit, I am holding so...Read On


Apartment Seven Has A Golden Dinner Invitation

Carie prepares a very special meal for Vasily.

Hey, Big Bad Boris. Come over to #8 as soon as you’re home. Hope you’re hungry for something special!! ~ C. Thud. Thud. Thud. “Coming!” Carie chimed as she skipped excitedly over to her front door after hearing the familiar clubbing upon her door. She flipped back her long black hair, clasped her hands together, leaned aside and chirped, “Who is it?” “Is ‘Big Bad Boris’,” Vasily...Read On

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